For the last few weeks, we've been talking at church about the kingdom of God -- what it means, what it looks like, how we should be involved in it today, what it will be in the future.

I spent some time yesterday and today in southern Iowa visiting some friends.. yay!  It was good to take just a little time to get away.  I like those low-stress breaks from the normalness of life.  I see these friends working hard to build their lives, with the future in front of them sometimes bright, sometimes not so much, but I'm excited for them that they have dreams, and I'm praying for them that their dreams will come true. 

On the drive down and back, I was listening to the audio book of "Crazy Love".  I believe Pastor Kory mentioned it in the Kingdom of God class, so I wanted to refresh my memory on it -- it's a good listen, and I'm sure a good read too.  The author first reminds us of God's majesty - the awesomeness and glory and creativity that is so true of our God. He then goes on to discuss how so many of us who call ourselves Christians forget those awesome attributes all the time, and live out our lukewarm lives without much vision of God's plan winding its way in and through our days and years -- we just try to live out our "American Dream."

But like the author of that book, and like Pastor Kory talks about with the Kingdom of God, I believe God is calling us to more.  God is calling us to get uncomfortable, take risks, and do our part in "bringing the Kingdom".  It's an open discussion what that looks like, and definitely something that we need to think and pray about individually.  But.. I think the first step is.. get excited! If you are a Christian, and you believe God is active, then you have a role to play in God's activity on earth.  I'm not going to try and dictate what that means, but my thought tonight is that it should have some element of excitement for us, and more and more so as we understand God and His plans better and better.

Last thought: I did some DDR tonight and played a song "Into My Dream" by the group Lagoona.  Listen to the video: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jpFjijw8Eqs  Now, disclaimer: not a Christian song, probably not a Christian band.  But I like the song, and I decided I'm going to use the lyrics to consider God's excitement for bringing His Kingdom to our lives and to this earth.  Actually, it's not the words themselves -- since it's a sort of love song or song of togetherness, it fits but sorta coarsely.  My real point is that the song is about one being inviting another to join in a common vision of a bright future.  And I think that jives with what God is seeking for each of us in this world.  God is building something, and wants us to be a part of it.  It should be exciting.  If it isn't exciting, maybe we are enamored by 1000 other lesser things that are "shiny" but are really just temporary stupid distractions.  Something to think about.

ahhh blog.  It's been so long.

My dad and I started season 7 of The Waltons tonight, straight from 1978. This is the first episode after the Grandpa died, and they're all still missing him very noticeably.  John (the father figure) is tired of being poor, gets the opportunity to be the VP for a BigCorp, but decides to head up a more local lumber co-op instead. The episode ends when they're up on the mountain remembering Grandpa on his birthday.

It was nostalgic I think. Sometimes I just get those nostalgic feelings I guess.  Tonight's feeling wasn't the strongest ever, but it was something.  My dad & I caught a bit of train watching tonight, we drove over the new 33rd Ave viaduct, we watched this Walton's episode, and then on the way home I saw an old-style "boxy" GACX covered hopper (train car, for those who didn't follow).  I know, only in my brain would those form a coherent thought.

I had one of those momentary musings as I walked up the hill to my dad's garage -- maybe this place where I grew up is a little like Walton's mountain for me -- not so much the land itself, but the memories it brings to mind.

So that's nostalgia, and that's tonight.  But I haven't updated my blog in a month or so.  September I was on work travel for a couple weeks, and it was a great work experience, and productive and fun to hang out with the coworkers.  When I got home, I had the feeling again that I was somehow distracted in life, from the path and mindset I should be on and in. I think that feeling is sort of waning now, but it's still there for me to ponder a little.

In related news of my brain, it seems like more and more I see the world (the world close around me and my friends) as being full of messy and less-than-ideal situations. The world is busy, and people get distracted, and people get stupid, and people do dumb things and hurt each other. Maybe part of my distraction has been a preoccupation with this.  I realize that when I go off and have a Thomas Merton moment, I am in a sense fleeing the chaos of the world.  I don't think I'm fleeing from the world or the people in it, but I am saying (to myself at least) -- the world need not be as complicated as we all make it out to be. Is that true? Is the world messed up because we all play the role, and if we all chose to not let it be complicated then it would resolve many many of our issues? Or is the world just complicated and we have to accept it? I know the theological underpinnings of the messed-up-ness of the world, but I'm talking practically here.  (One other thing that I notice is that those who we think are theologically in tune have lives that are just as messed up -- this is something I notice more and more.)

Another thing: someone gave me a statement almost in passing that I take on the traits of immaturity when I'm in situations where that immaturity surrounds me.  Interesting! I'm actually glad that someone was honest with me -- it's hard to know what people really think because who is actually honest?  But it also got me to thinking.  Where are the marks of immaturity in my life?  I haven't figured out discipline (self or otherwise) yet.  I don't always present my ideas in a marketable fashion.  I get distracted in mind and in action. I drift away to the 'shiny ideas' that sparkle but may not really be anything more than a drop in the bucket. I look to my own interests.  I talk about stupid stuff too much sometimes. I could go on. And here I sit (now and in the past), writing words and thinking or wishing they were 'sage' and wise. Here I sit on the pedestal of my life trying to figure out what goes on in the world and trying to figure out if that's aka being judgmental.

So anyway, I don't want to be immature, I don't want to be seen as immature, and I don't really want to associate with immaturity more than I have to.  I want real-life conversation and real-life life, and while I don't mind getting into the mess of life, I'd like to do that in the midst of maturity and not...whatever the alternative is. God help me to adjust the balance to be patient and effective but not a distractable pushover.

I brought my laptop home from work today because I have a meeting early in the morning.  As I left my dad's house tonight, I stood for a few seconds just looking up.  Stars. Evening air.  Breath of fresh air.  So I convinced myself -- when I got home I got the laptop out and am sitting outside.  At my outdoor table. Listening to the crickets and those things that make that "chick-chick" sound (ok, probably not the best spelling for the sound, but try and think of a better one).  Stream of consciousness random association to follow....

Cars going by.  Stars in the sky.  (rhyme!) Tree to the left, silhoutte like a palm tree.  Pensacola, FL.  Beachfront road. .. Streetlights -- halos, probably implies something about my eyesight. .. cars go by.  star in the SE, probably a planet.  .. is this midsummer or late summer?  On the verge of late. "redeem the time". AC just clicked off.  I wonder what time of night the cars really stop going by on F Ave... Motorcycle with loud radio (at least it's not loud pipes). Reminds me of a carnival.  "Ruby Pier" from that one movie. ... Hard to see the keyboard in the dark. next activity: trying out my new DDR mat.    .. there are a lot of electrical wires above my yard.

Roosevelt Hill.  sunrise.  wet grass.  night time.  sledding.  Central City. lookout.  Ciha.  hay ride.  field.  combine.  Edgewood.  family.  homestead.  family history.  passage of time.  things change, things stay the same.

10:44pm. biker in the dark, no light.  abundance of cricket-soundedness... stars.  Stars on the way to Indianola to watch hot air balloons (getting up way early to get there by 7 or something).  family vacations. Omaha, Chicago, St Louis. Trains! train car numbers.  bike riding.  Penford.  CIC 90 switching, sounded like chains on the wheels, while at Wilson summer classes.  Wilson summer... track; computer project.

10:48pm. Dogs barking. Lindsay's dog! good friends.  blessing.  thankfulness.  journey.  mission.  vision. all those good words.  "Jesus saves" and I better too in case something bad happens to this laptop.

10:50pm.  Locked in (saved changes). Lock & Load.  Data.  Star Trek.  time machines! (would solve so many problems) (and would create so many more)....  Train in the distance.  reminds me of trains heard from my dad's place in years past, probably honking at C Street or so by Tait Cummins, the ones with the long, lonely horn -- melancholic(?), so insightful in that train-in-the-distance way. ... Star gazing.  Rob (Hi Rob!) Observatory. Good times.

10:53pm. Ely...  crazy middle-of-the-night bike rides (remember those?).  middle school bike rides.  Benda's.  CVNT.  Paving... seeing those guys seal-coat the pavement a couple years ago in Robins...  Lisa (Hi!)... the bright planet-star thing has moved since I noticed it last a few minutes ago.  Circles.  Cycles. Seasons. Patterns.  Engineer!  the engineer searches for patterns in the chaos. Find the pattern, characterize the system, fix the problem. Accomplishment. Tools that work.

10:56pm. Work.  sleep.  tomato soup.  Tomato soup stand (think lemonade stand).... DDR game configuration awaits.  Two pads, one player. Friday. clean house in prep... old computers (Matt, take 'em)    Linux.  awww.   "so cool, such a nerd".  Lost and found.  Nathan and April.  (Hi!)

10:58pm. Watershed. community outreach. [evangelism or service]. work to do.  phone calls to make.  opportunities to bring to reality.  future.  the brightness.  the journey.  the hope. ... Hillside.. database.  communication. planning.  growing together... district. "generative friendship"

11:01pm.  Fog is rising from the little creek, illuminated by the street light. like... that train picture from Tait.  that train video from ADM long ago. like that trip to Chicago in the fog. maybe like 5k run in Amana in 2004 (the start of my running-ness).  kids songs.  good lines.

"I'm thanking the Lord for the things He's given, praising the Lord for the life he has made.  I'm singing a song, lifting my voice!  I want to praise His name!"  (If you ask me in person I'll sing it for you!)

What better way to end than with that lyric.  11:03, Joe and his randomness are signing off.  Hope you've had as much fun reading as I've had writing.  Later